I know it’s tough to write out a load of Chrsitmas cards and think of something appropriate or inappropriate to say to everyone. Well, I’m going to share this years’ Chrsitmas poem with you. Print it on stickers and pop it in your cards – your friends and family and boss will think you’re dead clever and up-to-date and stuff.
It goes like this …
Christmas time is here again,
thank God for Santa Claus
At night he slides right down your flue,
he doesn’t knock on doors
The kids, they all lie in their beds,
filled with festive trepidation
But this year, the grown ups said ‘sod the toys’,
‘Just bring us insulation’
That bloody Putin is off his nut,
he’s turned off all the gas
If there wasn’t a strike, I’d take a bus,
and kick his Russian ass
Interest rates are through the roof,
or did they say inflation?
Either way, I can’t afford
another new PlayStation
So put your festive Christmas cheer
where the sun will never shine
You play that Slade song just once more …
I’ll end up doing time!
It soon will be twenty twenty three,
the years, they come round faster
So let’s raise a glass to what will be,
and then get fucking plastered.