Hiya! There aren’t many questions that you can ask about greeting cards, but here are some I get asked frequently …
I do!

What is this?
I’m Simon and this is my website, ‘Little Gallery’, where I sell greetings cards that I’ve designed all by myself, through my Etsy e-commerce shop: LittleGalleryGifts.

How much does it cost?
Each card will cost £4 (four Great British Pounds). And that includes delivery within the UK.
I don’t know what it will cost in other currencies, but delivery outside the UK will cost £2.50.

So if I buy two cards or more, do I get a discount?
Unless you want to set up a wholesale account …

Can I send a card directly to someone?
Yes, of course. Just use the ‘personalised message’ field in the Etsy checkout to write your message. It will be printed in the card in special Little Gallery typeface.

Do I have to post the card to someone myself?
Nope, I can send it directly for you – just let me know their address (and remember your personalised message). Don’t worry, the invoice doesn’t get posted with it if it’s being sent direct.

How long will it take?
Well, I try to print, pack and post the cards out as quickly as I can. Your card is most likely to go in the post the day after you purchase. After that, we’re at the mercy of good old Royal Mail (and then any other overseas postal services that may be involved). Royal Mail First Class should currently take 1–3 days for delivery (not including Sundays), but, knowing Royal Mail, that can be more like four weeks during a pandemic Christmas!

What if I don’t receive it?
Let me know, and I’ll go and sort out Royal Mail. And they’ll tell me to wait 10 working days, and to put in a claim, but they won’t pay the first £20, and then they’ll tell me there’s nothing they can do, and I’ll send out a new card to you, and the first one will arrive a month later, anyway, covered in footprints and inexplicable sticky stuff, but by that time, the moment will be gone and it will just be weird.

Are we nearly there yet?
Yes, be patient. Have a cup of tea or something.

Do you sell to shops?
Funny you should ask … yes I do. If you’re interested in re-selling Little Gallery cards in your own shop/stall/pub/festival/prestigious art gallery/joke shop/burger van, then just pop me a message at simon@littlegallery.uk and I’ll ask you to send some details so I can check you’re a real trader and not just on the rob, then I’ll tell you the secret location from which you can download a trade price list, and place an order.

Can I go to the toilet?
Yes, go to the toilet now, I’ll wait here for you.

What should I write in my personalised messages?
I might have some tips in my blog posts on that, but it’s really up to you, and you can make it as long, short, sickly, raunchy or stupid as you want – it’s a free world (the World of Little Gallery). Try to avoid overly threatening or murderous messages, though: I might have to report those.
In short: the point of sending a card is to make someone feel happy to know that you are thinking about them.

Why does my finger hurt?
What have you been doing with it? It could be repetitive strain injury or a sting or allergy. If you’re not allergic, try some ibuprofen or hydrocortisol cream. If it’s more than one finger, it might be rheumatism or arthritis. I’d say leave it for a few days if it’s tolerable, but if it doesn’t get better, go to the doctor.

Is that it?
Erm. Yep. I think that’s all, really.

You can go now.

… well … just click this link, then – it’s mental!